ANASTASIA JILL —

HE IS ROBOTIC

he is robotic

11:59 pM

You are now connected on messenger


[msg]: hey motorman

long time no talk

[msg]: i sound operatic

on a lab table that’s not yours

idk, just thought you should know

[msg]: i have the power of you inside me

of mechanics and watts and bolts

b/c i was assembled for assembly

for mating and grasping

your meaty assembly line


[msg]: you are the only man I know

who knows the pain of being

android


[msg]: you built me to prove that.

you can be a man

i am depressed and manic but

will repress your force sensor

i am in someone else now

someone else’s XYZ001 gurl

now

[msg]: was i worth money?

the kinematics?

seen by motorman

made for computers ​

3:30 aM

[msg]: you must have forgotten

i know your joints better

than anyone

i am the one who taught you

how to move

we recreated the jacobian matrix
in your bed that one night

as you lined the bed with graph paper,

taught me the physical way to make
coordinates out of skin and juice and

moondust

you had a plug for my harddrive

we redefined the JOINT SPACE

[msg]: i’m so tired

and i miss you.
god, i wish you were single

[msg]: i bet your arms feel like combustible

shroom clouds and your lips like
candy gears

i would not know

you said i was too cold

to kiss and touch

[msg]: you learned me information

on the algorithm of crazy

and free


[msg]: those are equations meant to be solved

over lifetimes

but you see?

mine is infinite

i am robiotic; made for his match

5:30 Am

[msg]: i read an article in cosmo about machines achieving mitosis when ABSO data finds a perfect home

[msg]: we start on one drive

but end up on two

there was only one degree

separating me from freedom
and it was you

[msg]: you are the prettiest, silver,

cytokinetic boy i’ve ever seen

i don’t deserve you

you are showroom

and i am rotary floor


5:40 Am

[msg]: you built me.

remember?

in a metallic cell wall

from scraps and ashes

you fixed me well

and brought me home

[msg]: i was, for those days

your perfect model by the door
i licked your oils off the floor

until i decided i would not

this upset you

in the most hominid way
that i could not understand

your masculine needs

i know now

self realizing pets

are no longer

model machines

[msg]: i am a robot girl

with an affinity for

the empathic


5:45 Am

[msg]: you taught me that

when you rewired me

to mate

you taught me what it meant

to bless the flesh


5:50 Am

[msg}: you forget this now

forget me

because i realized

i was more than an object

it matters not that

you built me
it matters that i

declared myself human


6:00 aM


! You can no longer send messages to this user


Anastasia Jill (she/they) is a queer writer living in the Southeast United States. She has been nominated for Best American Short Stories, Best of the Net, and several other honors. Her work has been featured with Poets.org, Pithead Chapel, apt, Minola Review, Broken Pencil, and more.