ANASTASIA JILL —
HE IS ROBOTIC
he is robotic
11:59 pM
You are now connected on messenger
[msg]: hey motorman
long time no talk
[msg]: i sound operatic
on a lab table that’s not yours
idk, just thought you should know
[msg]: i have the power of you inside me
of mechanics and watts and bolts
b/c i was assembled for assembly
for mating and grasping
your meaty assembly line
[msg]: you are the only man I know
who knows the pain of being
android
[msg]: you built me to prove that.
you can be a man
i am depressed and manic but
will repress your force sensor
i am in someone else now
someone else’s XYZ001 gurl
now
[msg]: was i worth money?
the kinematics?
✓ seen by motorman
made for computers
3:30 aM
[msg]: you must have forgotten
i know your joints better
than anyone
i am the one who taught you
how to move
we recreated the jacobian matrix
in your bed that one night
as you lined the bed with graph paper,
taught me the physical way to make
coordinates out of skin and juice and
moondust
you had a plug for my harddrive
we redefined the JOINT SPACE
[msg]: i’m so tired
and i miss you.
god, i wish you were single
[msg]: i bet your arms feel like combustible
shroom clouds and your lips like
candy gears
i would not know
you said i was too cold
to kiss and touch
[msg]: you learned me information
on the algorithm of crazy
and free
[msg]: those are equations meant to be solved
over lifetimes
but you see?
mine is infinite
i am robiotic; made for his match
5:30 Am
[msg]: i read an article in cosmo about machines achieving mitosis when ABSO data finds a perfect home
[msg]: we start on one drive
but end up on two
there was only one degree
separating me from freedom
and it was you
[msg]: you are the prettiest, silver,
cytokinetic boy i’ve ever seen
i don’t deserve you
you are showroom
and i am rotary floor
5:40 Am
[msg]: you built me.
remember?
in a metallic cell wall
from scraps and ashes
you fixed me well
and brought me home
[msg]: i was, for those days
your perfect model by the door
i licked your oils off the floor
until i decided i would not
this upset you
in the most hominid way
that i could not understand
your masculine needs
i know now
self realizing pets
are no longer
model machines
[msg]: i am a robot girl
with an affinity for
the empathic
5:45 Am
[msg]: you taught me that
when you rewired me
to mate
you taught me what it meant
to bless the flesh
5:50 Am
[msg}: you forget this now
forget me
because i realized
i was more than an object
it matters not that
you built me
it matters that i
declared myself human
6:00 aM
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Anastasia Jill (she/they) is a queer writer living in the Southeast United States. She has been nominated for Best American Short Stories, Best of the Net, and several other honors. Her work has been featured with Poets.org, Pithead Chapel, apt, Minola Review, Broken Pencil, and more.