EDITORS CHOICE —
a selection from issues we’ve produced.
TAKE THREE!
THE SIGNS AS…DATING APP EPHEMERA
featured in issue 8, cause i know we all must miss this bs sooooo much.
aries: gymrat
taurus: using tinder to find roommates
gemini: the “wyd tn” message you get at eleven pm
cancer: offers to smoke you out if you drive to the west side
leo: military man that’s trying to get married tomorrow
virgo: “step on me, mommy”
libra: fifteen unrequited “heys” over the course of a week
scorpio: emo revivalist
sagittarius: that one guy holding a fish
capricorn: delete the app for six months and redownload for a week type energy
aquarius: ravebro
pisces: “lets go on an adventure” *idea of an adventure is going to in n out at eleven pm*
alice on phoebe bridgers’ 2020 “punisher”
featured in issue 37
Phoebe Bridgers is so fucking cool. Her newest album, Punisher, is so cool that it makes me feel cool. Phoebe is from the same Los Angeles area that we're from and I believe this may lead to some bias on my own part. This is probably my favorite drive-time album of the year for sure, but maybe also ever?
This album has *layers* baby!!! Emotionally and sonically, Bridgers illustrates a narrative of grief, pain, and resilience all at the same time. This album also just features a denser and more complex sound in comparison to her previous work. One of the best things is how much she has been sharing, just about her process and some of the guts of her many musical conquests. I am sure that completing multiple interviews and late night livestreams is never a small task, even outside of a pandemic. But as a fan I am always interested to get any sort of context directly from the source, and she has really delivered- The standout for me being the Zach Fox livestream because I love a good bit, but even her responses to the Apple Music song breakdown feel honest and meaningful. One thing that is true is that Bridgers is cool, but she still cares! In fact, she is cool because she cares so fiercely.
YOU DIDN'T ASK BUT YOU ALSO KNOW I KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT:
lip balm edition
featured in issue 30
the good:
CHAPSTICK candy cane is somehow the most delicious and moisturizing shit on the planet. when i was like thirteen one of my aunts put one in my christmas stocking and i rode that tube until it died. and then i bought another.
ROSE SALVE (smith’s) is my ride or die, my gross, fully dented and melted accomplice... the modern solution to all facial woes.
the bad:
burt, bees... i hope you’re sitting down. i am so sorry but this formula is NOT it ... i have to reapply so often that it becomes tedious. it goes on thick and just mysteriously wicks away and i’m chapped again? either something is wrong with the lipid barrier of my lips (or whatever) or something is UP.
EOS! so cute and yet... so not functional. same issue - just no absorption with an added lack of transference. your eos ball has to be at just right temperature for an even vaguely acceptable amount to swipe on.
the honorable mentions:
trader joe’s head to toe balm is mega pulpy but so worth it. maybe a bit strange for your lips at first but a total must have for your elbows and flyaways
carmex and blistex, u bitches are clinical and i know we should all bow down. take a seat.
PET NAME GENERATOR
for all you weirdos trying to spice up your “baby” life. straight out of issue 23.
DATE OF BIRTH:
1: Apple iPhone 11
2: Chicharrón
3: Peach
4: Angel
5: Ethos
6: Daddy
7: Zoloft
8: Thiccy
9: Id
10: Honey
11: King Henry
12: Logos
13: Sweetie
14: Love
15: Garbage
16: Pathos
17: Little
18: Becky
19: Sugar
20: Marshmallow
21: Amazon Prime
22: Elote
23: Prozac
24: Ego
25: Aloe Vera
26: Seashell
27: Wolfsbane
28: Tequila
29: Baby
30: Scum
31: Superego
BIRTHDAY MONTH:
JANUARY: Butter
FEBRUARY: Heart
MARCH: Daddy
APRIL: Cookie
MAY: Daffodil
JUNE: Swallow
JULY: Baby
AUGUST: Plum
SEPTEMBER: Teeth
OCTOBER: Pumpkin
NOVEMBER: Bear
DECEMBER: Musk