KAISA SAARINEN —

MY FRIEND PANDORA

*trigger warning for themes of assault/rape culture

the evidence is inconclusive he says

blood thicker than sperm thicker than her saltwater

he says she says. he boxes off her pain

a mirrorless vessel 

your response starts with it as an absolute truth that it happened in the first place he says 

we weren’t there but i feel inclined to believe women when they report things like this she says

well that’s a dangerous world view he says

a dangerous mirror she thinks 

my friend pandora she’s had this talk before 

of course i would never do something like that i’m a law student

you took the wrong drug you blacked out

you hurt yourself

every time she wants to believe him 

the edges of the world be less sharp 

maybe my period started maybe i drank too much

but there is so much blood and my ears are ringing

in everygirl’s life there comes a point of reckoning 

yes he hurt you and he wanted to 

she faces the violence

coyly he averts his gaze

i was not there. no i was not there but 

the violation of her body seeps into the violation of my body 

scars carved into the superorganism the subsovereign

my bones ache like a misfortune-teller’s before the rain 

that receptacle on the shelf whimpers

to be opened to be perceived

her fingers tremble on the clasps 

he looks away 

Kaisa Saarinen grew up in the Finnish countryside, studied environmental politics and now works as a research analyst in London. Her writing is published in Superfroot, Hungry Ghost Magazine, Expat Press, and elsewhere. Her debut chapbook is available from Feral Dove. Find her online @kuuhulluutta'