SOPHIE ISACKS —
GOOGLE RESULTS FOR HOW TO ASTRAL PROJECT
I sit in the car and think so hard about standing in the
sun that my head begins to hurt. I’ve never broken a bone.
I can’t remember the last time I had a nose bleed.
I’ve only gotten stung by a bee once, tarp over my
head. What would’ve happened if I didn’t wave my arms?
I never quite learned how to swallow down my thoughts without
them tearing up the inside of my mouth. Never found out
how to keep them behind my teeth. Never learned to handle
my hurts with grace. Never figured out where to put my hands. We stop hard for a deer.
You wanna get out of here? You wanna step out
into the grass and follow that deer into the field?
I bite my tongue. It’s about to rain. The sky is pregnant with it.
The deer runs off into the nowhere-somewhere of the forest
and I think take me with you. It looks back once. Imagine
if it said then come with me. Ha.
Cut scene. Fuck you. My peach pit/too loud/bruised fruit
heart was right there. You know I hate that picture. I try so
hard to be angry but I never know where to put it when I am.
I try so hard to be quiet but my voice never seems to quit.
I sit in the car and bite my tongue but there’s no blood.
I’m trying so hard for blood. The car bumps on gravel and
we’re home. The deer runs off into the field and we never see it again.
Sophie Isacks is a queer teenager from a small town in New York. They, aside from writing, enjoy sitting in their yard, drinking too much coffee, and listening to songs on loop.