SOPHIE ISACKS —

GOOGLE RESULTS FOR HOW TO ASTRAL PROJECT

I sit in the car and think so hard about standing in the

sun that my head begins to hurt. I’ve never broken a bone.

I can’t remember the last time I had a nose bleed.

I’ve only gotten stung by a bee once, tarp over my

head. What would’ve happened if I didn’t wave my arms?

I never quite learned how to swallow down my thoughts without

them tearing up the inside of my mouth. Never found out

how to keep them behind my teeth. Never learned to handle

my hurts with grace. Never figured out where to put my hands. We stop hard for a deer.

You wanna get out of here? You wanna step out

into the grass and follow that deer into the field?

I bite my tongue. It’s about to rain. The sky is pregnant with it.

The deer runs off into the nowhere-somewhere of the forest

and I think take me with you. It looks back once. Imagine

if it said then come with me. Ha.

Cut scene. Fuck you. My peach pit/too loud/bruised fruit

heart was right there. You know I hate that picture. I try so

hard to be angry but I never know where to put it when I am.

I try so hard to be quiet but my voice never seems to quit.

I sit in the car and bite my tongue but there’s no blood.

I’m trying so hard for blood. The car bumps on gravel and

we’re home. The deer runs off into the field and we never see it again.

Sophie Isacks is a queer teenager from a small town in New York. They, aside from writing, enjoy sitting in their yard, drinking too much coffee, and listening to songs on loop.